Today, 15 million adults in the United States are coping with anxiety in some form. It’s a state of being rooted in worries about the future. Anxiety can bring about physical symptoms such as a racing heart, sweat, and thoughts that won’t settle.
Living in this state of being can cause a seemingly neverending sense of dread – especially when your anxiety is rooted in money issues. If you’re married or share finances with someone, money is definitely an issue you must be able to talk about.
Here are some ways that you can discuss financial anxiety with the person you share a relationship.
Understand Why Financial Anxiety Is Such an Issue
Before anything, you must understand how prevalent financial anxiety is and why it’s such a hot-button issue for many couples. About 20% of people in relationships say that financial stress is a major issue in their relationship, to the point of having monthly arguments about money.
When you have money problems, they almost always spill over into the relationship. Many people have trauma or limiting beliefs surrounding money. These fears are compounded when you have financial issues. It’s also possible to have financial anxiety when your money is in order.
Knowing the importance of this issue will help you take the steps needed to get these anxieties under control.
Tips for Coping With Anxiety Surrounding Money
Talking about money is important because it can help you get your anxiety under control. This is critical for your mental and physical health.
Many people even have panic attacks when their anxiety reaches heightened levels. Other people deal with prolonged stress to the point of high blood pressure or shortness of breath.
Since money is a basic survival need, it’s normal for people to feel this level of anxiety when their financial lives are threatened. Here are some ways you can cope with that anxiety:
Learn the State of Your Finances
Before you have the money talk with your romantic partner, make sure you have a full understanding of your finances. Get the logins to your bank accounts, chart out the bills to know balances and due dates, and figure out the biggest areas of bleeding.
When you know where you stand, it demystifies it allows you to put together a game plan. Even if the financial picture is scary, it pays to uncover it from the darkness, because the mystery is far worse than having the right information.
Speak Without Offending or Blaming
A key piece of relationship advice to consider is to monitor how you communicate. It’s fine to have grievances about money, but you must communicate them in productive ways.
Avoid placing blame because it’s both of your issues to climb out of. Learn to temper your words of emotion and speak with logic so that you’re not misunderstood.
Be Prepared to Listen
Become an active listener when talking about money. You’ll find that your romantic partner will likely have some good ideas about climbing out of the hole, or can provide some insight that puts your anxiety at ease.
Listening also denotes that you both take an equal share of the responsibility and the solutions. This strengthens your relationship and will fortify it so that you’re able to withstand any financial storm while coming closer together, rather than allowing it to break your bond.
Come With Solutions and Make it a Constructive Conversation
Your partner will appreciate the financial anxiety conversation when you’re solution-oriented. Venting is great, but you should resolve to also fix the issue. Solutions can involve a mixture of fixing financial problems and changing your mindset related to money.
For instance, here are a few solutions you can consider:
- Speaking to a financial advisor regarding your finances
- Creating a budget to tackle bills, debt, and other responsibilities
- Seeing a therapist about previous traumas related to money
- Developing coping skills for your anxiety, including breathing exercises, meditation, and anti-anxiety medication
- Come up with mutual financial goals
Use fixing your finances as a workshop to collaborate and work through problems, and you’ll carry these strategies into other parts of the relationship.
Have the Conversation in a Stress-Free Environment
Setting is everything when discussing difficult issues in your relationship. Since money is a source of anxiety, make sure you have this conversation somewhere that doesn’t involve spending or anything high-paced. Consider taking a trip to the park, the beach, or a favorite, low-stress area that serves as a fun date option.
When the stress levels are low you’ll have an easier time broaching a potentially difficult subject. This will allow them to hear your anxiety concerns without feeling the need to take any sort of action right away. A low-stress environment allows the two of you to be open about your feelings and you’ll find that it brings you closer together.
From there, you can step back into your regular life refreshed and recharged, so that you’re able to take action toward fixing your financial concerns.
Handle Your Financial Anxiety
Financial anxiety doesn’t have to get the best of you or your lover. More people than you know deal with financial issues or worry about their money. If you use the strategies above, you will have a great headstart getting past these anxious feelings.
Don’t hesitate to also turn to professionals that can help you cope. Let Courtney Burns offer actionable solutions to your anxiety issues. Reach out using our contact form or give us a call at (503)208-4779.
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